Basketball

Chinese basketball is bad.

Like, really really bad.

I am pretty certain that the worst team in the NCAA tournament could give the best team in the CBA (Chinese Basketball Association) a run for their money, and the better high school teams could probably beat most of the schools in the CUBA (Chinese University Basketball Association). I probably play better defense than about half of these guys.

Across the board, players are lacking in fundamental skills. Their dribbling would probably have them called for a violation in the NBA, let alone the NCAA. Many of them still shoot with both hands from the chest instead of one hand from the forehead. They don't know how to box out on rebounds, they don't pass well, the list goes on and on. What makes it truely unwatchable, however, is the utter lack of team play. Well, that and the uniforms (in the CUBA, all the teams wear the same uniform design, just in different colors and with different school names; in both the CUBA and the CBA, the colors are terrible and they insist on wearing those tremendously ugly unis with the wide shoulders and enough fabric in the mid-section to make a bedsheet) and the commentary (all they know how to say is "good ball" and talk about how tall the players are; you have to get more creative than that if you're doing sports commentary).

If you watch the CBA, you will see a lot of ugly three-pointers, the occasional awkward drive to the basket, a lot of bad passes and a few fast breaks.
You will not see:
-Big men who can score from the low block.
-Big men who can use the low block to find open shooters.
-Big men who can pass at all.
-Perimeter players who can drive to the hoop and finish.
-Perimeter players who can drive and kick to open shooters.
-Any scoring from the pick-and-roll.
-More than 1 good pick per game.
-Good outlet passes on the fast break.
-Players trailing on the fast break.
-Any passing on the fast break.
-Anyone who can create their own shot.

On defense, you will see two or three "big men" standing in the paint (there is no defensive three-in-the-key rule in international play) a guy playing on the ball and two guys "playing the passing lanes." They will not slide their feet to stay in front of their man, they will not help with any degree of regularity. This is surprisingly effecive because of the inability of the offense to create shots of the dribble or the pass.

Invariably the most dynamic player on a team is a foreigner, usually a black guy from America. He is usually either:
-A big with bad hands
-A big with no quickness
-A big with decent skills who is three inches too short to ride the bench in the NBA
-A swingman with an awkward shot
-A point guard with good quickness, shooting and passing ability who is three inches too short to ride the bench in the NBA (and who's teameates will invariablly be so surprised to recieve an accurate pass that they will drop it).

In other words, the entire CBA should be forced to watch, on continuous loop, film of Jason Kidd and Steve Nash running the break (and passing to open teammates!!); Nash and Tony Parker driving to collapse the defence and then finding an open man; Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, Brad Miller and various other big men working the post to create shots for teammates, Detroit playing help defense and basically any other effective team players. They should be banned from watching Allen Iverson, Stephon Marbury, Kobe Briant and any other players who need to dominate the ball to create a shot (and who incedentally tend to be the favorite players of most Chinese people).

This raises at least two questions:
1. Why do I waste any of my time watching any of this?
2. How the hell did the CBA produce Yao Ming?

The answers:
1. The NBA is on in the morning, so I can't very easily get my fix of sports telivision. I do watch the NBA on most Mondays (when I don't have class), but invariably they show something like the Knicks vs. the Bobcats or the Rockets when both Yao and McGrady are hurt. I sometimes turn on the TV in the afternoon hoping to catch the replays on the news or to see the Chinese Volleyball League (both the men's and women's leagues are quite good) both for entertainment and to watch their technique (esp. because I'm now playing for the international trade department volleyball team). So I turn on the TV and discover a basketball game that I would probably not watch if it was my college playing. But I watch for ten minutes before giving up in disgust.

2. I have no idea. Yao is not just tall, he actually has an all-around game. Early complaints about his toughness and his leg strength are increasingly being resolved. In fact, he is currently having a rash of 20 and 10 games and leading the Rockets to wins without McGrady, which he had never been able to do before. Despite being outclassed in the All-Star Game, he is clearly still a star player with a good skill set. He even passes decently.